Spring Wonder

We've been having an unusually mild March so far here in western Wisconsin. The temperatures have been about 3 to 8 degrees warmer than normal with a lot of rain. Of course, this still means its only getting into the low 50's F (low 10's C), but its been above freezing at night for the most part. Its almost as though we have skipped March and went right into April. Normally, we would expect at least one large snow storm during this fickle month, but I am not sure about that this year.

The sun is beating through my living room window as I tap on these keys. It feels great. There is nothing like a bit of good weather to change one's moods. I do wonder though. I wonder if this month's weather is part of a larger pattern related to (or not) to global warming. I wonder why I miss the normal ups and downs of March: a couple days of sunshine and warmth followed by snow, ice, and freezing wind. I wonder about the newness of spring how it is such a good metaphor for our lives.

And then it hits me: I don't want to skip March. I want to experience all the unpredictable weather. I want to bask in the warmth one day and scowl at the cold north winds the next. I want to get to spring by having to endure the cruel tricks of March. I don't want it handed to me on a silver platter. I want to earn my spring. The returning bird songs sound so much more beautiful after the silence of winter. The green budding plants look so much more wonderful after the stark whiteness of the snow.

Perhaps, that is why I don't long to leave this part of the country. I actually look forward to each and every season. So, I am hoping for at least one more reminder of winter before I settle into my spring mode. Give me one more bout of white fluffy stuff and then I will be ready to get the garden beds ready and truly enjoy the sunlight beaming through the window.

A Delicate Dance

A couple of weeks ago, I was talking to one of my friends about relationships. She said that she thought it was easier to stay in a relationship, even it isn't working well than to be alone. She also said that her acupuncturist laughed at this saying, "Its much easier to stay alone than to try and work in a relationship." I remained noncommittal.

Since then, I have thought about that several times. We, as humans, tend to want to be near other humans. There are the cases of hermits who prefer complete solitude, but, for the most part, we tend to want and need human contact. How much better is it to share experiences, tell stories, describe our hopes and dreams, when we have someone else to engage with.

I also know, as I have grown as a person that I need times of alone-ness: times to reflect, to sit, to listen, to be. Some of the most glorious moments in my life have been on quiet mornings spent alone camping by a lake listening to the longing call of loons or while gardening quietly by myself tending to the peaceful cares of the plant world. As much as I love to spend time with my wife and family, I need those times spent by myself.

The word that keeps popping into my head as I cipher which is more important is balance. In relationships there are agreements that we have made either implicitly or explicitly. One of these, of course, is to spend time together. To support and help one another. To love. In a healthy relationship there is always an agreement to allow for space. To allow for each others growth. In unhealthy relationships, one person's needs and wants are put before the want's and needs of the other. There is an imbalance.

In most cases, it takes work to find the correct balance of alone-ness and togetherness. It is a delicate dance of give and take. Of us and me. I am so thankful to be in a relationship where we understand the need for separateness from time to time. I think it makes the times of togetherness even more special. So, at the risk of still sounding non-committal, I will not say whether being alone is easier or whether its staying in a relationship. I believe that the key is in finding the appropriate balance in our lives, whether or not that includes a romantic relationship.

Ten Weeks, Eight Pounds

I stepped on a scale just before the end of the year. To my dismay and surprise it was the largest number I have ever seen while weighing myself. How did I gain ten pounds over the last year? I mean, I was at least somewhat active. Okay, I hadn't actually worked out in over four months, but I was working and staying busy being a father, husband, and friend.

Anyway, I knew I needed to start exercising once again. I started with a simple plan. I worked out five days a week for half an hour a day doing body weight exercises in between laps. A sort of circuit of running, push-ups, body weight squats, pull-ups, and core exercises among others. I have to mention that the pull-ups were on a machine that assisted me at first. I couldn't do a single pull-up then.

After four weeks I increased the time I worked out to 45 minutes and I also started to emphasize the cardio portion of the workout more. A half hour spent on the elliptical trainer was typical before going to do my body weight exercises.

I feel better. I have more energy during the day and I don't have to go to bed so early. I have lost eight pounds over the last ten weeks. I think the key to keeping this up is simple: variety. I have yet to do the same workout two days in a row. I also keep switching up the weeks working on endurance on week, explosive strength another, and maximum strength the next week.

I am not doing anything special other than that. I have not really changed my diet that much although I have made sure that I am eating a wide variety of foods. The last four years or so I ate mainly a vegetarian diet. I have eaten more meat the last two months than I have the previous two years. Moderation, variety, and paying attention to my body has been my "diet" plan.

I guess what I am saying as I ramble is that it doesn't seem that losing weight is a mystery. You don't need a fad diet. You don't need a gym membership. You don't need any expensive equipment. As with most things in life, all you need is a willing attitude and a plan.

Peace and Quiet

As I lay in bed this morning, halfway between dreaming and being awake, I could hear the sound of water dripping off the eaves from the melting snow. It was a beautiful symphony of sound. Some drips were more steady, falling in a rapid succession. These were intermingled with a slow, heavy drop that must have been falling into a puddle.

Some of the drips were falling in a steady pattern while others fell much more randomly. It was quite soothing and comforting. Light unformed images danced on my eyelids as I listened.

I was really enjoying this hypnotic natural rhythm when suddenly the neighbor's dog bursts onto the scene with its usual 6:30 ritual consisting of being let out, taking care of business, and then barking at the fence for the next 20 minutes. Not at anything really. In fact, most times that I have gotten up to check, it has been barking to be let in. Its funny, but I have learned how to shut this sound out for the most part. But not this morning.

I longed for the peace and quiet. It was more than wanting a few extra minutes of rest. I wanted to feel closer, be closer, to that natural cycle that is too often drowned out by the modernized world. Those few moments of connecting with the melting snow reminded me that we are still part of the natural world. That those moments of slowing down and paying attention to nature, paying attention to sounds, and paying attention to our own bodies, is important.

As I sit here now, the sound of melting snow is still there. There is also the television set on downstairs. There are also cars driving by on the road. My step-daughter is talking to her friend on the phone. The neighbors dog barks once again. The natural sights, smells, and sounds are always there. We are just so accustomed to all the other "noise" that we don't pay attention.

I suppose there's a metaphor in there somewhere and if I were really clever I could find it and write it down for you. I suppose it has to do something with slowing down and just being, or paying attention, or setting your priorities. But, all I can think about right now is that sometimes its just too much. Too much noise, too much business, too many things to do, too many dogs interrupting the silence.

I need peace and quiet in my life. It doesn't have to be all day. It doesn't have to even be most of the time. I don't have to climb a mountain up to a cave. I don't need to buy a dog training video for my neighbor. I do need to purposely and consciously make room for it. I need to cultivate it. Five minutes here. Ten minutes there. A long weekend spent in the woods. A short walk through the park. I need it regularly and often.

When I do that, I feel better. I can then handle all the other noise in my life, at least for a little while.